Saturday, January 21, 2012


Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I was so nervous about posting about our miscarriage. I was nervous because no one talks about these things. They are hush-hush!

Sometimes, it seems that people are ashamed. I needed everyone to know that I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed of my baby or my body! I am not angry at them either!

I want all of my friends to know and feel the love that I have for our Parker! And that is exactly what happened!

Thank you so much for the words of support! You may never know how encouraged I have been after reading your words. I have read them many times. I will probably read them many more times. I am also appreciative of the women who have shared your stories. I know they are painful, but it helps knowing that we are not alone.

A friend of mine also lost a baby over Christmas. She had a few moments with Ansley the other day and told her that our babies were playing at the feet of Jesus. They are blowing bubbles and chasing butterflies. And if they happen to get upset or miss us, Jesus rocks them tenderly in His loving arms. "Our baby has a friend!" Those words filled Ansley with joy. She is acting like her old self again. She is smiling more and behaving better. But those words stuck with me! They gave me an image to cling to. So now when I dream about my sweet Parker, I see him in a field playing with the other children. I imagine it like a spring day with green grass and wildflowers. Children are laughing and playing at Jesus' feet while He rocks sweet babies in His strong arms.

I may be totally wrong with those images, but they are comfort to my soul.

(I googled "Jesus with children playing" and this was the first image! Chills! He knows our hearts!)

We are having more good times than bad. We find ourselves smiling more. We find ourselves looking to the future. We know that we will have many more bad times. But our strength is not in ourselves, but in the Lord.

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